The MAtH greeted me this morning with the news that Dianne Isbell's Monday Etiquette column in the Belleville News-Democrat was back below the fold. But...the good news is she is back the front page of the Lifestyle section after a brief exile to page 5.
Me: So what's Dianne fixating on this week?
MAtH: Well, this is going to make you crazy, but she posted letters she received from readers.
Me: Oh, no, don't tell me after 2 weeks she actually got some.
MAtH: uh huh, looks like there actually are people who write letters the old fashioned way and then put them in the mail.
Me: Maybe that's why it took so long for any responses to turn up in her column.
MAtH: If she had email, her articles would be more timely.
Me: And what's more timely than etiquette discussion?
MAtH: Don't you mean "timeless"? heh heh
Me:
MAtH: The entire piece is given over to her readers responses to whether or not Dianne should "take a chill pill" or address their own envelopes at bridal showers.
Me: Let me see that paper...Looks like most everyone was offended by the "chill pill" remark and, its funny, Dianne actually put in the names of those who wrote her.
MAtH: So she is not "making this up", as Dave Barry would say...
Me: Here's one from a mother-in-law who is disappointed in her daughter-in-law...
MAtH: Shock the world!
Me: And a bunch of women who think "etiquette has no age" and plead with Dianne to "keep her standards high".
MAtH: mmmphphaha
Me: Oh, wait, the best one is from a local priest.
MAtH: Clergymen...don't they have enough to do during Lent?
Me: He says, "I wanted to respond to...the ill-mannered barbarian who told you to "chill out" because you raised a very legitimate objection to asking people at a wedding shower to write their names and addresses on an envelope..."
MAtH: barbarian...bwahahahaha
Me: He also said, "It is very sad to watch Western civilization flushing itself down a toilet...yet it is comforting to know that there are people like you still around, to remind us that there are proper standards of conduct to which we all should conform, if we ever hope to regain any semblance of a polite society peopled by ladies and gentlemen."
MAtH: Oh brother, he sounds like someone out of a 19th century novel. And how is talking about toilets and barbarians polite discourse?
Me: He's a clergyman
MAtH:
Me: Anyhow, I still think Dianne would be better served if she had email. Common courtesy dictates newspaper people stay with the times, right?
MAtH: Maybe she and that clergyman believe computers are barbaric. Like answering machines and call waiting and cell phone conversations in public and...
Me: Ok, I have lots to do today, gotta get moving.