Just recently Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich announced the theme for this summer's Illinois State Fair and Parade: All Roads Lead to Illinois in 2005. That got me to thinking of something Ann Althouse had written about Wisconsin's new state slogan: Life's So Good. That lead me to the Dummocrats' site where they had a top ten list of slogans the Wisconsin tourism office should have chosen. With that in mind here is my list of ten reasons why "All roads lead to Illinois in 2005." Thanks to the folks over at Dummocrats for the idea and thanks to Rich Miller at the Capital Fax for the Illinois State Fair announcement.
All Roads Lead to Illinois in 2005 because:
10. You don't have to actually live here in order to run for Senate
9. You can claim to live in an abandoned house in East St. Louis and vote
8. We have the world's largest Catsup Bottle
7. We have the number one judicial hellhole in all of the United States. And number 2 too!
which means:
6. You don't have to live here to sue someone who doesn't live here who uses a lawyer doesn't live here
5. Because we have a new official state reptile which isn't a snake.
4. Because Illinois isn't Iowa, Wisconsin, Indiana, Missouri or Tennessee YEEEEEEAAAAAARGH
3. Because it is fun to watch a bunch of loveable losers like the Cubs who play in an old stadium no real roads go to so once you're in Illinois you can't get to Wrigley Field.
2. Because so many people are on all these roads leading into Illinois we needed to de-congest certain areas so we doubled the cost of the money you outsiders have to throw into our toll booth collection bins. We go to the Jewel and buy an I-Pass. At least those in the Chicago area do.
And the Number One reason why All Roads Lead to Illinois in 2005
1. You have to go through Illinois if you want to be the NCAA basketball champion
...the Cubs are WINNERS! :-D
Posted by: Stephanie | February 05, 2005 at 03:45 PM
...the Cubs are WINNERS!
The Cubs slogan for 2005 is "Wait til 2 years ago".
My personal favorites were 10, 3 and 1.
Posted by: KUKIMBIA | February 05, 2005 at 05:34 PM
good thing you understood number 1. It took me and Aunt Diane (mostly Aunt Diane) a few minutes before Uncle Dale got what it meant....
Posted by: Stephanie | February 05, 2005 at 06:41 PM