"Immortality is not on the menu, so let’s dispense with that and talk about what’s going to happen." ’

A very needed and insightful op-ed column by Ellen Goodman today on the Independence of the 'dependent' and how we refuse to come to grips with how to deal with aging parents. 

Too many older people make the right move too late.  The time for talking and deciding should happen before the time comes.  Having an older mother I see this day in and day out.  We need to get away from "the hazy idea that we'll all be healthy for years and years and then just die."  What do we do with parents who suddenly become ill or have an accident or are injured in a fall?  What plans are made for these eventualities? 

"Somewhere along the way we have to acknowledge that there are worse things than being dependent."

"There is no best-seller called “What To Expect When They Are Declining.’’ Nor is there any “Missing Manual’’ on what to do when our parents become too frail or confused to live alone."

And we need help with our aging parents.  We need advice.  We have no idea how to overcome the independent streak which may keep them from getting the help and social interaction they need.

But writer Paula Span has made a start with "When the Time Comes". 

This book has a Kindle edition.  I am going to get this book into my Kindle today.

Comments

[Carolyn D.]

Actually, I just lost my father, who was healthy for years and just died. We never discussed such things and now are left trying to balance financing, bills and other issues that were not worked out before. It is very trying and I have learned not to make that mistake with my children, as I age.