I sat down at the computer this morning intending to go over Dianne Isbell's Monday Etiquette column, but remembered we had to return the rental car I drove to Kansas last week. I was going to the Enterprise Rent a Car place on Manchester and Bellevue and Dale was going to come along a few minutes later and take me back home. Easy.
Not so fast. While I was standing at the check in counter I happened to turn around and look out the window when I saw Dale driving back north on Bellevue. I figured he passed the place and was going aound the block. While I waited one of the guys got the car checked in and asked me how my experience with Enterprise had been. I said it was fine. He then asked me if I would say my experience had been "great". I said, "Great"? "It was fine, it was a long drive to Emporia, so if that means it was "great" then it was great." He said, "I'll put down great." Alright. Must be a competition between local offices going on.
Meanwhile, no Dale. I called him on his cell phone, it went right to voice mail so I knew he didn't have it with him. One of the Enterprise guys asked if I needed a ride home and I said, "My husband is picking me up, saw him at the corner a few minutes ago, he must have gotten lost." The Enterprise guys and I chatted about 'what did we ever do without cell phones', the crazy people spending the night in sleeping bags outside Busch Stadium, and of course, "where could Dale be?" I told the guys, "Surely he wouldn't have gone home to get his phone and then call me, surely he'd just go around the block." They said, "Not guys, that's not what we do."
Sure enough, my phone rang and it was Dale, back at the house, wondering if he had it wrong and Enterprise didn't open until 8 because no one was around the car lot. I told him I'd seen him driving by the place and he probably was looking at the used car lot across the way. Ok, he'll be there shortly. Dale always says he'll be somewhere "shortly." After a short debate with myself I decided to go stand next to the stoplight on the corner where he'd have to stop. Finally. There he was.
Then it was time to deal with the other man about the house, the Ferd dog, who had a vet appointment in Collinsville. Ferdie does not like to get into the car which meant I had to get in the back seat first and then he climbed in. I then had to climb over him to get out and shut the door. We're driving along in a furious down pour of snow. Snow? He had his big head out the back window as I could see from the rear view mirror. Then I saw his first paw go out the window and then the second. The window only goes down halfway and Ferd's big, but you never know. The first stop sign I came to I yanked him back and close the window.
We finally got to Northgate Animal Hospital. When I got out of the car and opened the back door I had to look twice. All he had left of his leash was 6 inches of material hanging from his collar. He'd chewed the rest completely off. Have you ever had to get a dog into the vet's office while holding on to only 6 inches? A vet's office with a full house of other dogs in the waiting area? Let's just say it is not easy and the entire process made me look like a totally incompetent pet owner. Twirling this way and that.
When it was our turn, the Dr's assistant and I got him weighed (90 pounds!) and after I explained about the leash, he went and got a thin, plastic lead which looped around the dogs head. Ha. Gag him maybe, but hold him, never. Ferdie had a blood test which showed he still has some anemia, something about either not producing enough red blood cells or producing them, but losing them. We'll know why on Wednesday. I did ask how he could have gained 7 pounds in one month as active as he is. The Doctor said, "Well, he's young and is starting to gain muscle." Starting? Oh gee.
So off we go. Back into the car. Ha. More crawling in the back seat and out again. On the way home I decided we were going to Pet's Mart for a new leash. No way he'd ever be contained with that lead made for a ten pound dog. Ferdie loves Pet's Mart. He's a shopper. Up one aisle and down the other with me holding onto that poor excuse for a lead. At one point he shoved his big head into a rack of flimsy, but neon colored, collars made for ten pound poodles. When he pulled his head back out, 25 collars flew all over the floor. Ever try to hook things back on a display rack one at a time while a 90 pound dog with a thin lead wanted to go somewhere else? Not a pretty sight. Just one more stop today where people looked at me as though I shouldn't be allowed to own a pet.
The woman at the check out line asked if she could pet him. Sure! Could she give him a treat? Absolutely. This dog can charm when he wants to. But, hopefully no one from the store was watching me try and get him in the car. This time he wouldn't fall for the "you first" drama. He stopped six feet from the car and held his ground. He would not move to the car. The vet's temporary lead was useless, he would not be moved and I was afraid the lead would break. Ferdie has a long body so I can't pick him up. 90 pounds! What I did was, I first put my arms around his front end and slid him forward until he was close to the open car door. Then I ran around to his back side and hooked by arms around his stomach and lifted. Dead weight. When I got his front paws up to the seat, I grabbed his hindquarters and lifted til he rolled into the car.
Sorry Dianne Isbell, your questions on 'children at weddings', 'stamps on wedding rsvp cards', and handwritten or 'printed wedding invitation addresses' are more than I can deal with today. Her answers are 1. incomprehensible, 2. yes, 3. hand written, printed is tacky.