The MAtH (man about the house) and I see that Dianne Isbell kept her promise to update everyone on what cocktail wait staff think in her Monday Etiquette column in the Belleville News-Democrat today.
Me: Dianne has a couple of issues you might find interesting today.
MAtH: Somehow I know I'm going to hear it in any case.
Me: You'll like it. Here's the first question.
Me: This is from a young woman who got a box of chocolate from her boyfriend for Valentine's Day and gave it to her neighbor because chocolate makes her sick.
MAtH: Now that is hard to believe, I always thought all women were crazy about chocolate.
Me: I know. Me too. But everything good makes someone sick, I guess.
MAtH: How did the boyfriend know she gave away the chocolate?
Me: The neighbor happened to come by when the boyfriend was over painting the girlfriend's kitchen and the topic came up.
Me: Here's the good part. "I didn't tell him when he gave me all this chocolate candy that
chocolate upsets my stomach. When we started dating about a year ago
and he took me out for dinner, they had a great chocolate dessert which
he wanted to order to split. I told him then, I didn't eat because
yada, yada, yada. I guess he didn't listen."
MAtH: Us guys. Always being told we don't listen.
Me: You don't.
MAtH: You women don't listen to us either, I can give you 10 examples without even thinking.
Me: But men are the worst at not listening, especially when we try to tell you what we like or don't like.
MAtH: That's because you all have to explain things in such a long, roundabout way, adding causes and effects, that we start to daydream about what time the game comes on.
Me: Well, she couldn't just say she didn't like chocolate, she had to explain why she couldn't eat it.
MAtH: It's all the 'yada yada's' in her story that make me think the main point got lost in all the background information.
Me: I can see your point, but I do believe men and women listen differently.
MAtH: And they tell their stories differently. Men like things short and to the point, women wander all over the place, giving too much information.
Me: Ok. Let's move on them.
Me: Dianne heard from cocktail wait staff about things that bug them.
MAtH: Too much ice and not enough scotch.
Me: That would be customer complaint, besides, Dianne's cocktail people are all about food.
Me: "People who take an hors d'oeuvre from a serving tray only to eat it right above the tray."
MAtH: That's so if you like the first thing you try, you'll want another one. If you don't care for it, you'll want to take something else.
Me: Too much information.
Me: "People who double dip get their fingers into the dip, then lick their fingers and do it again."
MAtH: Sounds like a Seinfeld episode.
Me: It was.
MAtH: Don't people learn from TV?
Me: Double dipping a chip into the guacamole is not a pretty sight.
MAtH: I think too many people get used to sitting on their couch with their own chips and dip, dipping away but forget how to behave in a group sharing setting.
MAtH: Not enough people get out often enough. They think they do, but they really don't.
Me: Ok. Here's another one. "People who do not move away from the hors d'oeuvres table so we can remove an empty tray or replace a tray."
MAtH: Those people are guys. We're hungry. Either put out the dinner or we stay in front of whatever food is available.
Me: "People who do not use or know to use the "waste bowl" or "waste plates" that are available on hors d'oeuvres tables."
MAtH: What I don't get is how this computes to cocktail staff. Where are the drinks?
Me: No mention of them at all. Probably the drinks server has no problem. People take their drink and move away.
MAtH: Until the glass is empty. Any word on whether you have to take a new drink and put down the finished glass?
MAtH: The biggest line at these type of affairs at the drinks table.
Me: I don't know, the shrimp area gets lots of attention.
MAtH: Eat lots of hors d'oeurves so your dinner won't seem so skimpy.
Me: I actually like the appetizers better than most meals.
MAtH: Not me, too much work.
Me: I'll remember that the next time we have people in.
MAtH: Please just don't remind me of this conversation by making a long story out of it.
Me: I'm hearing you.